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Ivan Tornado

The Ant and the Grasshopper inside me


Hello my dear readers, it’s been a while. 


Let’s jump right in…


We’re always getting caught up in the should have, could have, would be better if parts of life. Well, that’s a big assumption, maybe its just me… But, I do think it's a collective feeling of never doing enough. Not being enough. Not dedicating our extra time to building our future, or conversely, if you are a non-stop worker, not using your extra time to enjoy yourself and be who you really are.


Time is funny like that, it it’s never enough. Time is the same for everyone, we all know how long a minute lasts, how long a second lasts. But the way we experience time is different for all of us at every moment. Most of us (probably all) are familiar with those days doing boring meaningless soul draining work were time seems to stop, and every minute feels eternal, and we cannot wait for the day to end, to go home and wrap up in a blanket, to binge watch Netflix and order deliveroo. On the other hand, when we are with our friends, playing some sport, reading something we love or engaged in any sort of meaningful activity, in one quick whooooop, hours have flown by, the day is over and it’s time for the next thing. 


What is this internal clock we have that makes time feel so different? We all have 24 hours in a day, and some... do so much, optimising their time, running from place to place, squeezing to the last drop, being the most efficient they can be... To get where? ... While others just… let the hours, the days, the seasons and then years pass by... without ever doing much... wasting their time.


Where are we? How long has it been? Was it all real? Or just an excuse? A dream?


Time is the only thing in the world we cannot get more of. We can prolong our lifespan, but it will never be the same.


No one knows how best to spend time. There is no right or wrong way. We come back to that eternal battle of living for the now or living for the later. We will never be this young again, but we will inebitably become old and won’t be able to endure what we can endure now. Should we work like the ant to prepare for the cold winter that is old age, or dance and play the violin like the grasshopper while the summer of our youth is still here?


To this my dear readers I have no answer. I would say that there is a right and wrong answer as long as we are the ones who chose, and chose it because that will make us be who we truly are... our true self. That we don't need to be one or the other, but change and adapt depending on where we are in our life.


I’ve been roaming around for a few years now, and even though on the surface I am happy most of the time, inside me, these worries bubble up and create anxiety like a pressure steam cooker no one is attending. I was in Indonesia when I decided to call it quits on this long trip... and after going to Japan, Laos and then Cambodia, I flew home…


To work… 


And here I’ve been, since late October. At home, working. I chose this with the purpose of taking a bit more of the ant mentality, and build for the future. I now see that the future will come, and it's coming faster and faster each year. -We all know this, but it's not until you feel it, that you properly understand it -. That yes, I am not 23 anymore, and every month that passes I soon won’t be 28 anymore… But that’s just part of life. Time’s arrow only marches forward (any Bojack fans?) . It is for the best to work a little now, and build, so that when I am out and about roaming the globe again, I can enjoy it fully. Without the fear of a pressure cooker about to explode.


I decided to come back, and skip Taiwan, Sri Lanka and India for that reason. Being the grasshopper was getting old, and I felt the chills of winter approaching. I couldn’t enjoy myself because I knew I was neglecting my responsibilities. My savings are not endless, and without having an income, I couldn’t relax anymore. 


So, I am back. I promised myself I’d be back for 1 year, to get sh*t sorted. To stay and work, taking only small trips to London, Italy, Morocco and whatnot so that I don’t go insane (because if I don’t move, my soul aches and cries). I was invited back to buenos aires, and had to sadly reject the invite. Then to Vietnam, to meet with a long lost friend, to which I also said no. Until October, sort trips only! No longer than 20 days (which I understand is already a lot. But I am still a nomad-gypsy-pirate soul that leans towards travel).


A big downfall of being out and about for so long, is that now that I'm back and ‘working’, I lost the routine. I lose the discipline. That’s a part I am struggling with. Not that I ever was strong on discipline. I was famously good in school and uni at doing the bare minimum, bending the rules and still scoring high (as if that ever mattered to me). Similarly, when my e-commerce took off, at first we fed it and put in endless hours, but shortly after, as soon as it was working ‘well’, we stopped feeding the golden egg goose, which then starved to death… Whoops... Of course there were many external factors involved , but when I reflect on it and question if I could have kept our business going somehow, I know I could have. I could have done better. Do I regret it? Yes, a little. If I could go back, this is one of the few things I'd change.


So, here I am. Bearing the burden of the broken plates, from the party that I hosted. (Am I using too many metaphors? Is it clear what I want to say?)… 


Buttttt... It's not so bad. Days aren’t as exciting as being on a tropical island, seeing the sunrise from the top of a mountain, eating in markets with strange foods, scuba diving, exploring caves and driving motorbikes... But, it’s a necessary holt in my adventures. A slight sacrifice of the now, for the later. 


Even here it's quite beautiful (I am in the south of Spain btw...). I’ve been surfing (which I am still quite bad at), hiking too. Making wild fires and cooking next to our river, and seeing the sunset go down while playing cards with friends. I am also reading lots again. Most shockingly, I have a girlfriend now (I know... soooo weird — who could have seen that coming?)


I guess I was the one caught up in the could have, should have… and went home to remedy it. 


As to the success of my work? It is being fruitful, but not as fast nor as much as I originally fantasised while away. Our e-com got me badly accustomed to quick brutal successes.


I must admit that even here I am quite loose with my time, and still not in ant mode. I put in the hours, but discipline doesn’t come easy to me. I’ve gotten used to the easy for too long… Nevertheless, I am proud of the work I am doing, and even thought some times it is monotonous and soul draining, hey… its all part of a bigger picture. 


I won’t get into everything I am doing, but I do want to share with you my new webpage The Capitalist Nomad. It’s similar to this one, in the sense that it is a blog about my life and so on… the difference is that this one will now become more personal. I won’t sell anything here. I will only reflect about my life. Making Ivans planet my personal blog, and the capitalist nomad my internet persona / alter ego / educator  / life coach where I teach people how to live a more meaningful life, the importance of personal finance and how entrepreneurship leads to freedom and early retirement.


How arrogant must one be to believe that they can coach people about life? Yes, I know… quite a lot I’d say… Nevertheless, I do think I can help people look at their lives more holistically and steer them to a happier path. After all… I am the happiest human :) 


On there I have put on sale my Personal Finance E-book. Yes! Its finally out! And even though it’s not perfect and I know I can improve, I am proud with the outcome. There’s a lot of valuable info everyone should follow on how to manage your personal finances. The full course is not out yet, but I am working on that too. 


There’s another company im working on, and those who say it sounds sexy, but the work is quite boring from my side. But... I am part owner of the business, it can be automated, managed from my laptop and it can bring in a significant amount of money - which is my criteria for good business-. I won’t tell you what it is to keep the suspense. Those that know me personally know, and if you don’t know me personally and want to know, pop me an email and I’d be happy to talk about it with you. 


So… overall? yeah… quite good. Not as exciting, but good nonetheless. 


I hope y’all are well. 




Here I am in the north of Italy in my short keep-my-sanity getaway trip.

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