How to Identify and Live by Your Core Values for a More Fulfilling Life

" Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

-Charles Bukowski.

This line has been attributed to Bukowski many times, but it's not in any of his published poems or novels... Sooo it is likely that he didn't write it, but... He is one of my all time favourites, so I’m keeping it here anyway. Especially since we will be discussing self-identity and societal expectations.

Let's jump in...

Are you living a life that truly resonates with who you are? A life that makes you happy? Did you really make that choice of your own accord? Or was it an idea that was implanted in you by propaganda? Or worse - by those who you seek approval from?

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with external influences, even in our most intimate moments (while we are in the loo), it's no surprise to know that ideas that aren't ours often dictate our choices and actions. That our thoughts are not as unique as we think. AKA: What we think we want, is NOT actually what we want, nor is it good for us.

It’s crucial to take time to pause and reflect on what truly matters to us. I'd dare say (without any proof - just from talking to the people I've met), that most people in the world never really find out what they love or value. We spend years of our lives on autopilot, without paying attention to our choices and what is actually important to us, taking the path of least resistance.

So what is important to us? How does one live well?

Well, philosophers have been asking these questions for thousands of years. There is no easy way, and certainly not one correct answer. I will be writing more pieces on philosophy and philosophers like the one On The Shortness Of Life by Seneca. But, the best I can share with you today is that the answer is within you! I don't know who you are or what you care about. No one really does... except you. Maybe not even you (yet).

As often as I can, I make a conscious effort to stop and reflect on what I value and care about. I don't do it as much as I'd like, but I usually have quite a good grasp of it. So, let me show you how to do the same.

Let’s try to discover the key to living a good life—not based on other people’s standards, but rooted in your own beliefs and desires.

How to Uncover What You Love

Living a good life starts with understanding what brings you genuine happiness. With knowing yourself. It all starts with you.

Take a moment to think and ask yourself, “What do I love?” What activities make your heart sing and your spirit soar? Whether it’s painting, hiking, cooking, dancing, sex, martial arts, or creating conspiracy theories, identifying what you love is the first step towards crafting a life that’s truly yours. One that reflects your true self.

If you don't know what you love, then go out and try new sh*t! Go out and try lots of stuff you've never done before. There are millions of activities you could spend your time on that would be better than scrolling on your phone or watching that series for the fifth time.

Embrace your interests and hobbies wholeheartedly. They are an important part of living a fulfilling life.

The Power of Introspection

In this fast-paced world of deadlines and stress, it’s easy to lose sight of our inner voice amidst the clamour of external expectations.

By engaging in introspection, we give ourselves the gift of self-awareness and clarity. Ask yourself: Why do I think the way I do? Why do I act in a certain manner?

Or take it one step further. Consider some of the interests you've analysed and ask yourself: Why do I love doing that? Does it come from me, from the inside? Or do I like it because someone else expects me to?

By delving deeper into these questions, you can begin to unravel the layers of conditioning and societal expectations that may be clouding your authentic self.

Living Life Your Way!

You start by embracing your values and interests, and what follows is living life on your own terms. Living life YOUR WAY. That's the key to happiness.

If there is some sort of “way things should be” and you think it is stupid—or it simply doesn't feel right for who you are—then I invite you to say f*ck it. Don't follow. Be yourself and don't apologise for it.

There is a line often attributed to Nietzsche: “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.”

Try to be more conscious of the decisions you make so that they align with your beliefs, even when they diverge from the mainstream. Remember, no one should tell you who you are or what makes you you.

By staying true to yourself, you can build a life filled with purpose and contentment.

Embracing Change and Growth

Living in alignment with your values also means being open to change and growth. Think about how much the world has changed in the last 10 years... Imagine how crazy life will be in another 40.

As we evolve and learn more about ourselves, our priorities will almost certainly shift, and that’s perfectly fine.

Sometimes, taking that first step towards being yourself is the hardest. But once you do, you won’t want to go back.

Embrace opportunities for personal development, explore new passions, and welcome change. Remember, growth almost always occurs outside our comfort zone.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection is a powerful tool for navigating life in accordance with our values. Set aside some time to think about your experiences, choices, and emotions.

I like to give myself three minutes of silence every day. Usually, in the morning while having my coffee, I just sit and think in silence. If I don't have a busy day, then I'll do a little more.

I don't really have a name for it, but I like to think of it as some sort of conscious meditation. Instead of trying to keep your mind blank, you do the opposite. You give it the time and space to think without leading it anywhere.

Just let it wander through your thoughts. Let it move towards whatever it needs to explore.

It's like giving your mind a breath of fresh air. I invite you to try this too.

By examining your thoughts and actions, you gain insight into what truly matters to you and how to lead a life that reflects your innermost desires. Self-awareness is an essential part of living authentically.

The End?

In a world that constantly bombards us with external standards and ideals, finding our own path towards fulfilment is an act of courage and self-discovery.

By looking inward, questioning our beliefs, and aligning our actions with our values, we can begin to live a good life—one defined by authenticity and joy.

My happy life is one that involves travel, friendship, reading, writing, sunsets, sunrises, adventure, a little bit of mischief—because I consider myself a bit of a rebel against society—sports, especially water sports, family, and love.

They are all important to me in different ways. They all contribute to my life and allow me to live it my way. There are many more layers, but that's the gist of it.

What about you? What makes your life worth living?

Don't be shy! Dare to explore what you love, dare to live by your own values, and dare to discover who you truly are.

Let’s take a pledge together... to live authentically, love passionately, and embrace life’s wonders.

Remember, the key to a good life lies within you. No one knows what is best for you better than you do—so listen closely, follow your heart, and watch as your existence slowly transforms into a life you are happy to wake up to every day.

I hope you are all well.

Sending love x

Ivan Tornado

Here I am, about to go kitesurfing and loving life—even if it doesn't show that much in the picture. I am also happy to see my blog slowly growing. Oh... and I don't have a girlfriend anymore, just in case you guys were wondering.

I always said I would never use AI to write my blog, but... AI has become too big to ignore.

I didn't use it to write the whole thing, but I did use it to create a sort of skeleton that I could then fill in with my own thoughts, experiences, and voice.

I felt I had to admit that here because, well... being honest about it is also part of who I am.